By the power vested in me, I, the Angel of Justice, hereby sentence thee to life imprissonment.
Your crimes against humanity have been deemed heinous, and your fate is sealed.
But fear not, for you shall be given a chance to appeal... to my better judgment.
Or, if you're feeling lucky, you can always opt for Option 5: Time Loop Imprisonment.
Or, if you're feeling extra lucky, you can even try Option 3: Random Number Generator Imprisonment